Invisibility

I'd like to revisit a topic I've covered before: the pros and cons of super powers. As I said, my conversations with my brother-in-law delve into the wacky yet seemingly interesting and once we discussed the power of invisibility. This is a great one. The power of being invisible would be quite a treat, to say the least, and there are many reasons to develop this ability. Of course, I can only think of two off hand: looking at girls and stealing money.

But think about it... what would you really do? There are tremendous ethical problems with sneaking into some girl's house while invisible and every time I do it, my heart is racing so fast she can hear it. I sneak around my house when I'm fully visible but still make so much noise it would wake the dead. Imagine if I knew I wasn't suppose to be there? That just wouldn't work out as planned, I think. You wouldn't feel invisible so why would you think you'd be cool about it? The 'hey baby, you can't see me' thought would vanish as well the second a floor board creaked.

OK, you would rob a bank. How? Banks are pretty well locked up at night. Are you going to open the door at 2:00 pm, while invisible, waltz into the vault and stroll out with a million dollars? I don't think so. First of all, you'd be naked since clothes would give you away. Surely that would make you feel at the very least... antsy. No gloves on so your finger prints would be everywhere. I'm an educated man but I don't know where a bank keeps a million dollars so there would be a lot of fumbling around. Remember, your invisible, not quiet.

Most invisible guys forget that the money would still be quite visible. So all the bank people would watch the money float through the air and what... pop in your car and drive off? Now there's a car flying down the road with no driver. There's an attention grabber. And to top it off, a million dollars is 10,000 one hundred dollar bills. Could you even carry it? What would that weigh? Last but not least, how would you explain your sudden increase is cash while the mysterious case of the floating money made international headlines.

Trust me, being invisible has many perks. I enjoy it. But not the first ones that come to mind. I just use it to take a nap in the guest room so my wife doesn't think I'm home.

This is what keeps me up at night.