Please God, make me a bird. So I can fly. Far, far away.

I shall use the power of my blog for good. As I type, my finger tips are electric with the sense of future generations coming to grips with their existence through my words. Or I could just tell jokes.

You know, my brother-in-law and I used to discuss super powers and list the downsides. One of my favorites is the ability to fly. We'd all like to be able to fly, right? I know I would. Go anywhere you'd like as the crow flies (so to speak), zip around under the cover of darkness, be anywhere in the world very quickly (we assumed we'd fly pretty fast), fun stuff like that.

But what about the reality of it? Bugs in your teeth is the easy one. Fonzie taught Richie that one the first day on a motorcycle. I'm talking about the real drawbacks. Like for instance: what would you wear? A cape would probably beat you to death. It would be very cold up there so you'd have to bundle up and the next thing you know you're in sunny Florida dressed up like Nanuck of the North. Uncool. Would you be able to carry a suitcase?

Who would you tell? "Hey man, long time no see. What have you been up to?" "Oh, not much, same ol' same ol' but I can fly now." "....Ok, great. Take care."

Would you be too small to pop up on any radar? Probably. But sooner or later, someone would see you and word would leak out about the flying guy. You'd almost certainly get arrested and if news got out that you could actually buzz around like Superman, I bet all the news crews would bug you to death.

Scientists would want to study you and you'd end up a lab rat held in a bunker in some mountain somewhere on the business side of a one-way mirror with only the smell of bleach and listening to a clock tick. There would certainly be military interests. They'd love to have a fellow that could zoom into an enemy camp and peak about. (I wonder what that might pay... hmmm)

So the next time you find a bottle in the sand and some Genie wants to bestow three wishes upon you, take it from someone who's been there... think twice before you speak.

This is what keeps me up at night.